Guard Dog???

So before the hubby and I decided to adopt our puppy, we of course weighed the pros and cons of adding to our family.  We both love dogs and both wanted a dog, but helllloooo responsibility.  Then I started thinking about how nice it would be to have a dog around for extra protection, especially on those nights when I am home alone (freaky!).  Well flash forward, nine months and I am beginning to question my sweet girl's capabilities as a guard dog.

sleeping on the job....as usual

First of all, she is deathly afraid of the broom and vacuum.  Second of all, she is schooled by the cat almost daily.  And finally, she is the biggest lover of them all.  I am pretty sure if someone broke in she would either lick them to death or go running the opposite direction like she does when the husband chases her with the broom (so mean, I know).  And to make matters worse, she actually just usually freaks me out even more when I am home alone.  The husband and I are training her not to bark, so when she does, you better believe I have already pressed the 9-1....on my cellular.  Then I am left wondering for the rest of the night what she was barking at and wouldn't you love sneaking a peek at my imagination.  Luckily our neighbor's dogs seem to be scary enough for the whole neighborhood.  I swear you walk by their house and it is a scene straight out of Sandlot.  And when they start barking, wouldn't you know it, our "guard dog" jumps a foot.